Marry Me Bars’ Chocolate-y Shell Cravings

Usually around 11:30 p.m. I start to get howling cravings for something that’s either (a) chocolate, or at least tasting of chocolate (b) sweet enough to warrant eating it with a cold glass of soymilk or (b) crunchy and salty. Luckily for me, Tofutti Marry Me Bars exist to satisfy the first two of those very essential needs.

I’ve always loved Marry Me Bars ever since I first espied them sitting contentedly in plentiful droves on the freezer shelf… at first, I wondered if they tasted nasty, since there were so many stocked in the store every time I visited. But no, it must’ve just been because everyone loved ’em and the store just knew to order way more than they needed to fulfill many a nighttime craving for this delectable chocolate shelled ice cream bar… well, at least in my ideal vegan world it would work out like that.

The packaging itself is a bit kooky… there’s a circa 70’s style bride and groom holding a blanket and being lifted bat-mitzvah style whilst seated in some cushioned chairs, apparently a union between “voluptuous vanilla” and “rich, deep chocolate.” When did ice cream get so politically correct?

Quite possibly the oddest advertisement I've seen for ice cream... maybe.

Either way, I really don’t care because honestly, the taste is fantastic… as well as the price point. For $6.99, you get 6 lovely Marry Me bars that are amply sized, ready to be chomped on. They’re also easy to get– lots of stores stock Tofutti, so you’re ne’er too far from your next fix.

It’s fun to eat, too, actually– the chocolate shell is satisfying crunchy, and complements the vanilla ice cream inside nicely. I guess it is a match made in mitzvah-style heaven. Just be careful when you are eating it, as the shell does tend to fall off as you bite into it.

The chocolate bits tend to fall off... make sure you catch them all in your mouth, not on the table!

I personally love eating this with a glass of soy– you know me! Not to say that it is overly sweet, but it does leave a chocolatey aftertaste on your tongue.

Now the only thing missing is a joke on the popsicle stick… I really miss those. God I sound like an old fart.